The Angry Lemon Plant

Picture Source

 I have spent so many years following what others are doing. From academics to my personal life, I have blindly borrowed so many things from others. Yes, I have always cared for other's opinions. Yes, I have listened to other's judgments. I have done that all - just like so many people out there. 

And one day, out of nowhere I picked up a pen and scribbled the traits and habits I have acquired from others in a little notebook. And I wrote eighteen pages (front and back). 

Okay! A little less than eighteen pages - but they were enough to enlighten me and show me the way. I need to peel off my societal layers without thinking of the result. 

Then a phase comes when you start to give importance to your inner voice. You start looking at your own needs, requirements, and of course, wishes.

One such wish was to have a little garden of my own. When it comes to gardening and the stuff related to it, I was just too amateur. In fact, I had a bad experience with all the plants I had received as gifts on my birthdays. But the rule is to take care of your wishes. 

So I went to this cute little nursery which is quite near to my office. I bought Rose, lipstick aglaonema, and a little lemon plant. With a good experience with them, I gained some confidence and started getting more and more plants. Now I have a gulmohar, Mint, Neem, Aloe vera, and many other delicate as well as sturdy plants in my little gallery. 

Almost every morning, I sit among them and look at the minuteness and beauty of each of my plants. I have started feeling that each plant has a unique nature. Some seem to be loving and warm. Some are angry and irritated. A few of them are darn too aggressive and even turn violent sometimes. 

Just like my lemon plant.

While watering them, I got a bruise from one of the sharpest thorns of my lemon plant. My wrist even started bleeding a little. I looked at it and felt as if it was looking directly into my eyes, still in attack mode. 

I choose to ignore it.

But the other day a similar thing happened. I understood the fact that something needed to be done immediately.

I lifted the pot and placed it on the other side of the gallery, away from the rest of the plants. I grabbed my chair and started sipping my 'Bitterest - Black - Coffee'. 

On my left, there are lush green plants, loaded with flowers and green leaves. And on my right, there is this little lemon plant, looking directly at my face.

Suddenly I heard a group of kids giggling, shouting, and hooting - to tease someone. I looked to my right and saw a tweeny version of mine standing there - struggling to keep his hands up. And on my left, I recognized each and every face. I recognized each and every voice. I recognized each and every taunt. They still ring in my ears. I must be eleven or twelve, with tired arms, I was trying to hold my glasses, which were falling down my cheek.

My fault? I was discussing the episode of 'Shahid Bhagat Singh', which was telecasted the night before on DD National with the guy sitting next to me. The teacher caught me chattering with a little more animation than required in that particular conversation. 

She didn't miss the opportunity to comment on my exam scores and physicality - before 'throwing' me out of the class. When she left the class for some work, some students repeated what the teacher said, adding a little more creativity.

I immediately got up and placed the lemon plant among the other plants. I changed its place, but I couldn't bear the sight of the lemon plant alone, gazing at me. It was haunting my psyche.

The whole day I was thinking about that sight. I was overwhelmed and irritated that day, secretly suffering in my imagination. I concluded the day with the thought that I should receive a national award for overthinking from the Government of India.

A couple of weeks passed and I completely forgot about that day. Like every morning I was watering the plants and plucking dry leaves. I glanced at the lemon plant. When I looked at it closely, I was astonished at the sight. I saw two little lemons hanging joyfully from a low branch of the lemon plant.

 What a sight it was. 

That's the role of genuine companionship, love, and sympathy in one's life. One opens up all the locked and bolted gates of his or her heart. One feels safe and warm in your company - Just like my little lemon plant, which is not so little anymore.

And the national award of overthinking - Here I come.

Love, Laughter, and Peace

HRN

The Art of Keeping A Journal

I have no issue in accepting that I was an extremely talkative kid. I used to gel up with everyone around me so easily. I had a lot of topics to talk about and I never heard the term boredom in the first ten years of my presence on this planet. As I grew up, my group started becoming shorter. I only had a handful of friends when I was in college.

And after that, I was on my own - sharing all the grief, all the love with myself alone. 

It's not like I was starving for a company or someone to roam around on regular basis. I was somehow happy being with myself.

When people grow up and start exploring society on their own, I have seen People becoming anti-religious or anti-corruption. But I became anti-bullshit. I couldn't take with people trying to condition my mind or putting negative (or positive) things in my mind. I wanted to (and still want to) see the world to gain first-hand experiences. 

But when you are alone, a lot of emotions creates turmoil inside you. You have an urge to share your thoughts with someone to feel a bit lighter. And it's a good thing to share what's troubling you. But we humans have a secret chip imbibed inside us, which always expects something in return for every ear or every favour. 

And I was done with all the exchange of advice. 

I have no problem in accepting that I went into this phase of extreme anger and sadness for a couple of months. I had a major problem in finding words in explaining what was running in my mind. I had this urge to share my thoughts and my confessions about the things which I shouldn't have been done. But I had nothing to give in return for that. And I had this constant terror in my mind that people will judge me. 

So when someone gave me a freebie on the new year and no points for guessing, it was a beautiful, hardbound journal.

In my initial days of writing a journal, I had no clue that what should I write about. Just like a secondary school student, I used to begin with 'Dear Diary'. And I couldn't complete a page in a single sitting in the first few months. I still had that lump in my throat of expressing myself but I couldn't. It became a daily duty for me to write it. I religiously did my duty but I couldn't avail any help from that.

One day, out of nowhere, I got this idea of leaving all the formats, all the decorum aside and start writing what was troubling me.

It was 1.30 AM when I switched on my reading lamp and wrote this sentence in my journal:-

Whatever I write here no one will be ever going to read it.

Trust me, I felt immense freedom as I wrote that sentence. All that fear of being judged went away. I started writing about a childhood incident that had an impact on me. I started writing about the dreams which used to trouble me more often. I started writing about my desires, my goals and whatnot. I wrote more than eight pages in that single sitting. When I switched off my reading lamp, it felt like I'm coming out of some therapist's office. I felt a lot lighter and much happier. I slept like a baby that night.

And from then, it became a ritual. I carry my journal with me anywhere it is humanly possible to take it with me. And I always take out some time from my schedule to pen down my thoughts almost every day. 

My family and I noticed many changes in me. I'm getting that glow back on my face which I had as an adolescent. I gel up with people and discuss things that are common between us. Of course, I'm still a proud Anti Bullshit guy, but I have become more liberal. I have acquired the subtle art of hearing without listening. 

And above that all, I learned a lot about myself. By writing in my journal, I took out time in understanding my reactions to various triggers. I discovered that there is a lot of knowledge that resides inside yourself, which is needed to be tapped. And you can tap it when you slow down and invest some time in being with yourself. It's sheer magic. 

There are innumerable benefits of writing a journal, some of them are listed down below

1) It makes you feel emotionally lighter. 

2) It makes you acquire self-knowledge

3) It helps you in developing a tangible thought process 

4) It helps you in building and maintaining a good relationship with the people around you.

There are many more benefits of writing your experiences and thoughts in a journal. 

Before ending this article, I want to convey a message to all my dear readers. If you ever feel that you are unable to deal with the situations by yourself, you should talk about that with your family or friends. And if needed, do visit a therapist or a psychiatrist. It is darn necessary to take care of one's mental health. And there is no issue in seeing a doctor. Trust me it helps.

All The Best with your journal writing journey. Do share your experiences of writing a journal with me on hrntales@gmail.com.

See you again

Love, Laughter, and Peace

HRN

Enable GingerCannot connect to Ginger Check your internet connection
or reload the browserDisable in this text fieldEditEdit in GingerEdit in Ginger×

You Are Beautiful

 It would be wrong if I say that I had a disturbed or a traumatic childhood. Just the opposite, I was brought up in a very loving and caring environment. But everyone has his or her own problems. Some people say that they were bullied when they were kids. Some people say that they were beaten by their parents. Thankfully, I faced nothing like that. But I faced very different problems. One of the major problems I faced was ‘Thinking in a Loop syndrome’ (TLS). In medical language, there is nothing like TLS exists. I created it – not the problem but the name.

Now, what is TLS? Let me give you an example. Suppose I lock you in a dark room with a pair of permanently attached earphones, with the most disturbing lyrics playing in it. How will you feel? Trapped right? That’s what TLS is.
When your thinking becomes like a tape recorder, and you start thinking self-destructive, pessimistic, and negative thoughts in a loop, it can be briefly termed as TLS.
My dear friends, when I was in school, I had this habit of getting lost in my thoughts. So whenever the teacher used to teach the class, after paying attention for a couple of minutes I generally tend to lose attention. Once it happened that my History teacher was giving a lecture on Nazis and Hitler. I was very attentive in the beginning. As the lecture proceeded, he was explaining about the brutality against Jews and that famous gas chamber incident. And there I was stuck and entered into my world. I was stuck in that gas chamber, but the lecture moved with its pace. Hitler was there in the room, he created beneath the ground, but I was still there in the gas chamber. Hitler committed suicide, but I was still in the gas chamber with those poor Jews who were about to die.
What I heard next was my amazing teacher asking me questions related to the chapter, which thankfully helped me coming out of the gas chamber, but unfortunately, I didn’t know the answer. The result – the whole class was laughing at me for my blank expressions. That is where my TLS appears.
I’m Dumb.
I’m stupid.
I’m worthless.
I’m going to flunk this year too.
Thankfully, I passed that year, but I was unable to find a permanent solution to my loop thinking or my TLS.
Now when you grow up and meet new people, the first thing you do is, you try to forge a new personality. And in the process of forging a new personality, you try to cover up your problems, your shortcomings, and your past mistakes. The process of forging a new personality is somewhat similar to painting an old house from outside, without repairing it from inside.
So I went to college, met new people, and my TLS disappeared for a while.
I started working in an organization. The first few months were good. But then my TLS entered again in my life.
I was reprimanded for making silly mistakes. I was scolded and again gave me a title for being so dumb. I was even scolded for among a group of people. I can’t blame anyone, it is a part of their job. But that gave me a reason to believe that I’m worthless, stupid, dumb, and not good enough to be the part of the corporate world.
I resigned and started working with my Dad in a little business of his hoses for tractors and cranes.
One day I was coming from a public bus from my office. I gave some money to the conductor of the bus for the ticket and ask for the change. He told me to wait. I waited for a while and asked again for the change.
And he kind of scolded me and told me to have some patience.
Though it’s hard to believe and you might also find it funny, but I couldn’t look into his eyes and I de-boarded the bus at the next station, without collecting my change.
I sat at the bus stop for a while and I don’t know what happened to me. For the first time in my life, I thought that I can’t spend my life like that. I can’t have an ever attached earphone stuck in my ears, which makes me believe that I’m dumb or stupid or worthless. I felt the utmost need to express myself. I feel like making myself as well as other people understand that I’m not that stupid.
If a turning point exists in someone’s life, that was mine.
I didn’t mean that I became a different man all over, but I’m happy in whatever I’m doing. I love expressing myself via writing or speaking. I have some amazing friends, who help me to come out of that shell.
But my friends, we need to believe ourselves. We need to love ourselves. We need to believe that we are perfect in our way. We need to believe that we are beautiful as we are. We need to understand the fact that we can’t love anyone else without loving ourselves first.
I would love to write more about this shift, but let’s keep it for some other day.
Till then, love yourself as much as you can… and some more.
Love, Laughter, and Peace
HRNEnable GingerCannot connect to Ginger Check your internet connection
or reload the browserDisable in this text fieldEditEdit in GingerEdit in Ginger×

Minimalism and the Art of Time Management

 

Since my childhood, I have heard from so many sources that Time Management is very crucial for one, no matter who he or she is. And I cannot deny the fact that I have had a very hard time managing my time. You must have also heard about maintaining a time table or write a ‘To-Do List’ in your journal to save time, which increases one’s efficiency and effectiveness of the task. No points for guessing, that I tried all that stuff and failed not once but many times.

So in this little article, I’ll try to cover that what the heck is minimalism and how it is connected with this evergreen concept of time management.

First things first, let’s try to understand what is Minimalism? Don’t worry, I will not give you a definition copied from the websites of the west blabbering about Minimalism a concept originated from the west. I will just write what I feel about this.

Minimalism is something that physically makes you survive on the least resources possible and spiritually it makes your existence lighter.

By the definition, when I say that it makes you survive fewer resources, I mean to say that there are no extra clothes in your closet which you don’t wear anymore or which doesn’t fit you anymore. There are no extra pens and pencils in your pen holder. There are no unused files  (Audio, Video, or images) on your mobile phone. There are no unread and unattended Emails in your Inbox. There are no idiotic pages followed on your Facebook profile.

One of the most time-consuming tasks of every one of us is to stand in front of our closet every morning and think about what I should wear to the office. The reason is very simple because our closet is un-managed and filled with lots and lots of clothes, which we don’t wear anymore, we have actually forgotten what’s actually there in my closet. Our own habit of accumulating things and attachment to them is making our daily chores slow and time-consuming, also it is also digging a hole in our respective pockets.

Have we ever thought that why are we spending a large chunk of our monthly income on clothes and other accessories? The answer is very simple. We believe that we are judged by the clothes and watches we wear at a party instead of the way we express ourselves in a party. As we have discussed in our earlier posts, our clothes, gadgets, and accessories are not our identity.

So there are certain not-so-easy but amazing ways to save time by adopting a minimalist way of living:-

1. Every Sunday try to invest at least 15 minutes in managing your closet.
2. Make a list of clothes which you don't need anymore and then - Donate them.  (Or you can also sell them. There are certain websites that help you in finding buyers for your clothes. Though I haven't tried them yet.)
3. Understand the difference between needs and wants. Needs are of utmost importance for one's well being but unnecessary wants can fill your life with hell lot of physical and mental clutter. 
4. Don't think about what other people will say if you repeat clothes often. It is you who have to pay for your clothes, not them.
   
   So my dear minimalist, these steps are time-consuming at first but trust me, it will save a lot of your time in the long run.
   
   So, I'll see you next week then.
   
   Om Shanti:
   Love, Laughter, and Peace
   Himanshu R Nagpal
   Edited By:- Geetika Nagpal

 

Enable GingerCannot connect to Ginger Check your internet connection
or reload the browserDisable in this text fieldEditEdit in GingerEdit in Ginger×

Connecting with the Mother Earth

Every day I came across many people who always complain. They complain about everything they come across – Be it their job or their home or their spouse or their neighbors and the list go on and on. But in their daily life and routine, they always miss the chance to say thank you to the almighty who has given us innumerable gifts which generally stays out of our gratitude list. So today, I’m going to talk about one of the greatest gifts to mankind – Nature.

My dear ones, every day we have to be conscious enough that our human body is nothing but an accumulation of the five elements or the Panch-Tattvas. The Panch-tattvas comprises of Water, Sky, Earth, Air, and Fire. No matter how much money we earn or many houses we build, no one can add another element to his or her body. In this blog post, we are going to talk about our connection specifically with Earth, because in the journey towards Minimalism, probably the biggest role is played by Earth.

This might sound a bit philosophical, but trust me, in your journey towards minimalism you cannot proceed without connecting with Earth. So sit back, relax and calmly touch your feet to the ground. As you touch your feet to the ground, feel the energy in your body. We need to understand that Mother Earth is the sole provider of energy. Pray to the Mother Earth to always keep us grounded. Pray to Mother Earth no matter how many worldly possessions we might have, one day, we have to sleep forever in her lap. May She never leave her little children alone. Say Thanks to Mother Earth for always carrying our burden on our shoulders. If possible, every morning bow to her for providing us nourishment, care, and love.

I know this may sound foolish in the beginning, but it is very much required. I have seen many people who constantly quote about simple living on social media platforms. But their lifestyle doesn’t support what they say. They are carrying the latest smartphones, wearing branded watches, uploading their pictures while donating food and stuff to the needy ones, and so on. The only reason behind this is they have lost the connection between themselves and the Mother Earth. They are busy polishing their roofs without gaining strength in their roots.

So let’s say that this is the first step in the process of living life simply and effectively.

Though I have missed this point many times, I want to say that I have no hard feelings for the ones who love gathering stuff and filling up their closet with what all they can. They have full right to live their life as per their will and we are no one to guide them or tell them what’s right and what’s wrong.

Let’s conclude this little post on the fact that no matter how many things we have, we can’t take even a penny with us to the other world. I hope this helps you in making you aware of the fact that we shall not run here and there with the purpose of finding God. God is here, inside us, below our feet, above our head, in each and every breath of ours.

Stay Grounded.

and yes, If you haven't read my earlier articles in this series, you can read Here :-)

Om Shanti:

Love, laughter, and peace

Himanshu R Nagpal (HRN)

Edited by:- Geetika Nagpal